The ancient Romans loved their gods, and they had many. Modern society could probably use a few more gods to grant us perspective and the occasional favor. Regardless of how much any person believed in the divine existence of the dozens of deities, they still served a purpose. The polytheistic world gave people a focus (a god) for a specific need. Each ruled a group of related ideas and could be called upon when that part of life was causing trouble.
Janus is the god of doorways and transitions. You may be familiar with him as the two faced god, though not the kind of two faced that brings about thoughts of catfights and conflict. One of Janus’ faces looked into the future, the other into the past. He was the god of transitions, change, and doorways. The Romans also loved naming things after their gods, and so the month of January is named for Janus. In honor of his role, it is a good time to think about broadening perspectives as we move from the darkest time of the year towards the returning light.
When the hormonal switch turns on sometime in our pubescent years, it does so unannounced. The magic book of instructions has yet to appear for anyone. Hormones surge, emotions flare and die and shift. We are left in the dark with a flood of new influences and stimuli. Drama almost always ensues. If we are lucky, we wrangle the beast, tame it, and redirect it. We start exploring things that we want, things that turn us on, that intrigue us and we just can’t live without. We redefine ourselves, discover our passions, and figure out who we are in the grown-up world of hotness. The search for hotness leads to BDSM. Huzzah, you’ve identified yourself!
You have identified a need in yourself
You have sought out stimulation of this kind
You have experienced feedback good and bad
So it is all about you
It is all about you, not them.
They can’t feel these feelings
They can’t see what this means
Because your time is limited
Because there are so many out there
Because we all want people like us
Because you want to pick the right one
Therefore, know thyself
Express thyself
Analyze thyself
Know thyself even better
Then choose wisely.
One day we grow brave and move beyond the dreams and wonder. Enter then the world of kink in flesh and blood. Attending events reveals there are people everywhere. They are tall and short and old and young. Some of them do things that are terrifying and wonderful and mysterious. They have friends, all kinky, who throw parties and bullwhips, and do nothing but play. Some flirt and some don’t. Some are pushy and sneaky and give a weird vibe. Others are warm and open and seeking, and curious. There’s hotness you want to play with, maybe sleep with, maybe wake up with. The hotness is new, inexperienced, eager, excited, and vulnerable, like you.
They need something different
They sought out the people
They found whips, chains and play
It was all about them, their passion, their time
Others can’t understand
They can’t feel these feelings
They can’t see what this means
Because all time is limited
Because there are so many out there
Because we all want people like us
Because we all want to pick the right one
The hotness is just like you, and me
It’s not all about them
It’s not all about you
It’s the spaces in-between. Where like meets like, and compromise and agreement must be forged. In the end we must meet in the middle. Past meets present, blends to the future, and all with or without us. Success depends on an active effort to look backward and forward as well as inward and outward, all at once. Like the god Janus, we must be ever aware of where we came from, how we began, and why we are here. At the same moment, each of us must also see forward, to the target of our interests, to their footsteps that lead them this far, their needs, desires and fears. Never forget that it is all about you, and all about them, and all at the same time. Perspective is the gift of Janus. Happy New Year!