We’ve all learned the secret to good, successful relationships by now, right? Communicate, communicate, communicate! It’s one of the favorite mantras of relationship counselors the world over. Whether you’re trying to solve issues with integrating your girlfriend’s boyfriend’s new lover into your poly family, planning a special activity with your spouse of 30+ years to [...]
In 1994, Pat Califia committed her thoughts on gender, sexuality, censorship, kink, prostitution, safer sex, and leather to print in a book titled Public Sex: The Culture of Radical Sex. As an outspoken, self-identified leather dyke, Califia took on laymen and academics alike for “white-washing” and “sanitizing” sex and its transformative and radical abilities. She [...]
Often those that participate in kink, BDSM, and alternative lifestyles like to think of themselves as social outlaws, people that live and love on the edge. They view themselves as renegades and outsiders, shirking the rule of mainstream society. And, in some ways, I suppose this is true. In comparison to mainstream culture, kink is [...]
WARNING…WARNING!!! I’m going to talk about race and I’m likely to say a few things some of you may not want to hear. As much as American society likes to claim we’re moving or have already moved into a post-racial era (we have a Black President after all), the fact remains that many of our [...]
In William Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice, Shylock muses “If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die?” after being mocked and derided for his outsider status as a Jew. Many in the BDSM community are left asking the same [...]
With an onslaught of books, articles, and websites dealing with non-monogamy and poly relationships, more people seem to be giving “alternate relationship structures” a try. Books, such as Opening Up and Sex at Dawn, have helped individuals that felt trapped and alienated by societal expectations of monogamy to consider options beyond one-on-one coupledom. A variety [...]
By DNGG Give the people a voice and they will tell their stories. Cultural Studies scholars have long argued the political and social importance of minority and oppressed groups to be heard. Recent years have seen an uptick in news stories, blogs, and social media campaigns highlighting “voices” from the fringes (queers, the homeless, the [...]
The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) is currently promoting a program called “Consent Counts.” Numerous classes on negotiation, boundaries, and safety practices are taught each year at kink events around the globe.
Unraveling My Own Personal Identity Crisis
I am having an identity crisis….there I’ve said it. Recently, there’s been a lot going on in my life; there’s my academic obligations, some growing kink commitments, and now a foray into the world of sex work.
One of my biggest pet peeves is listening to people talk about other people’s sheep-like tendencies or “privilege” while failing to acknowledge their own. Recently, there’s been a lot of talk in my social circle about monogamy as social pressure