Tag Archives: expectations

Schrodinger’s Heart

September 21, 2011

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Schrodinger’s Heart

By Graydancer “It’s hard to wait for something you know might never happen, but it’s hard to give up when it’s everything you want.” – SexCigarsBooze, via Twitter Change is hard. It reflects an uncertainty to life that we don’t like. We like to feel like we know what’s going to happen, even when the [...]

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“Eff the Ineffable”

August 21, 2011

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“Eff the Ineffable”

By Graydancer

“Somebody, somewhere, has a cock bigger than yours.”

Somewhere, it exists. I don’t care how well hung your bio-cock is, how amazing the girth. Even those of you who are running to your dishwashers to pull out the double-ended cockzilla that you bought at IML…

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Behind the Veil

July 21, 2011

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Behind the Veil

Unraveling My Own Personal Identity Crisis

By DNGG

I am having an identity crisis….there I’ve said it. Recently, there’s been a lot going on in my life; there’s my academic obligations, some growing kink commitments, and now a foray into the world of sex work.

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Struggling with Desires

July 1, 2011

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Struggling with Desires

By Sarah Sloane

Dear Sarah:

What would you suggest for someone who struggles with expressing sexual and S&M desires? I have them…in spades…but I have issues asking for what I want, both because of fear of rejection but also struggling with seeming “too weird”. I have an odd play history…

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The Hell with Should

March 21, 2011

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The Hell with Should

By Mako Allen

Back in my early teens, I was convinced that if I didn’t get a spanking and soon, I’d just about die from unhappiness. I thought that all I had to do was get that spanking and I’d be fine, and everything would be great. Some pain in my bottom would forever remove that lingering pain in my chest, right? Sadly, that just wasn’t the case.

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Feast Your Eyes

March 15, 2011

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Feast Your Eyes

By Julian Wolf

Most of us go through our day to day lives in familiar surroundings. The same home, the same route to work, the same isles to walk down at the same stores; the familiar is all around us. We sit in the same places, and move in the same circles. It’s easy to get lost in the familiar

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Chasing Happiness is for Losers

November 10, 2010

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Chasing Happiness is for Losers

By Mako Allen

Lao-tzu would never say such a hideous thing. But now that I’ve got your attention, he did have a lot to say about the way people strive to achieve happiness.

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No Expectations

October 15, 2010

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No Expectations

by Mako Allen

One of my favorite Lao-tzu quotes is “A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent upon a destination.” That’s good advice for travelers and for kinky people too. I think that the notion of “fixed plans” speaks to both judgment and expectation. We’ve all heard judgments before like “spanking is great, but I’d never want to be whipped.” Expectations are just judgments that haven’t happened yet.

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