Avoiding A Breakdown

 Posted by on May 16, 2011
May 162011

By Jay Morgan

My partner Georgia and I have many fantasies we share with each other. Some are too far-fetched to be practical, others not so much. Fantasy is what led us to discover rope bondage; the idea of the other person being tied, restricted, or bound in some way. We started with scarves, then medical restraints, then finally, trying to be cool, we got some hemp rope. The rest is history.

I like to think of fantasies like a car; the speedometer is a gauge of physical desire and the RPM’s a gauge of emotional acceptance. While we may be traveling at a high rate of speed, emotionally it can cause us to over-heat and break down.

Fantasy is healthy in a sexual relationship. Talking about the fantasy with your partner can remove the smoky mystery surrounding the idea, in one sense satisfying the desire. Sometimes, just talking about the fantasy is almost as good as living it. The sexually assertive enjoys fantasies, discovering what might turn them on, then possibly making that fantasy a reality.

As with driving safely, there is a certain amount of acceptance, patience, and foresight required. The person listening to the fantasy is the driver; there are rules to follow, obstacles to be aware of, and a path to choose. The passenger is along for the ride, trusting the driver, accepting the fantasy without getting caught up in jealousy or insecurity, resisting the temptation to grab the wheel.

Can we be unselfish enough to please our partner? Do we resist the urge to demand they stop the car and let us out? Or do we relax and enjoy the pleasant time spent together, letting the world spin without our help?

A key lubricant in any relationship machine is acceptance, not just sexually, but throughout the other aspects of your life. Be accepting of the fact that your partner might leave their wet towel on the floor after showering, or have a habit of leaving a papery mess on the kitchen table. Without acceptance, the myriad of all the little shortcomings can easily create a mechanical breakdown.

Think of your acceptance level like your vehicle’s RPM; they have to be relative to our speed. Trying to accelerate without shifting gears through life can cause damage to your vehicle. Acceptance of fantasy is just like proper vehicle maintenance or wearing your seatbelt, it gets you to your destination safe and happy.