Last month, we focused on types of “Littles.” This month, we explore types of Daddies in a Daddy Dominant/little girl (DD/lg) dynamic, a consensual adult relationship.
Just as there are more than 7 billion individuals on this Earth, there is no one type of Daddy Dominant. Daddy Dominants can be any age, sexual orientation, gender, nationality, religion, body type, and whatever other attribute is applicable. I’ve met female Daddies who wear police uniforms and have grown women as “Littles.” I’ve met older “Butch” Daddies, self-proclaimed leather dykes who have women Littles. I’ve met young teenage boys, freshly 18 and 19, who are their Little’s Daddies and who are several years younger than their high-school sweetheart or college girlfriend “Littles.” I’ve met stern Masters in Master/slave (M/s) relationships who have softer “Daddy” sides. And I’ve met traditional Daddies, middle-aged men, both gay and straight, who have Littles close to their own age or who are Daddies to much younger Littles.
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“Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a Daddy.”
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What is a Daddy Dom?
Parent / Caregiver: A Daddy Dom serves the role of parent or caregiver, with all that that entails. He sets boundaries, decides on rules such as how much television his Little can watch or whether she gets dessert after dinner. He protects her, takes care of her when she’s sick, provides for her well being, sees that she has the basic necessities of life. Whether she does something exemplary or makes a grave mistake, a Daddy is there for his Little, to celebrate her triumphs with her and to lead her back to a more sensible path. Like a parent, he loves her unconditionally.
Mentor: A Daddy Dom teaches his Little about the world, the good and bad, right from wrong. He is her chief mentor and guide. He answers her questions: Why is the sky blue? Where do bugs come from? He guides her to see the world in the uniquely glorious way that she does. Rather than create a mini-me, he accepts her for who she is and encourages her to be the best Little that she can be. When so-called real life intrudes, that of her adult side, he doesn’t stop being Daddy. He helps her gain perspective, guiding her to accept and meet the challenges of her world. She relies on him for his wisdom and the fact that he will not steer her wrong.
Protector: Daddy is his Little’s protector. When the harsh world intrudes, he is there with his sword and shield. When she senses monsters, he checks under her bed, looks inside the closet, and makes sure the night light is working. And then he tucks her in with a squeeze of the hand and a kiss upon her forehead. He is her undisputed champion, her Lancelot, her Prince Charming.
Disciplinarian: Daddy’s word is final. When his Little errs, he must enforce established rules and boundaries. If standing in the corner, writing sentences, or a spanking is deemed appropriate, he must embrace his role for the betterment of his charge. The phrase “this will hurt you more than it hurts me” (yes, that’s right) will no doubt be a regular staple of his conversation. But he must endure, for both their sakes.
What is a Daddy Dom like?
Kind: Above all, a Daddy Dom is kind. He exudes politeness, that quiet strength that all will be well. He is consistent in his love for her, in his kind wisdom, and in his gentle demeanor. He is understanding of her moods, her excitement one moment, her sullen pout the next. He accepts her with grace, knowing how difficult she has it being a Little in this tough world, facing potential judgment for being different.
Playful: A Daddy Dom likes to play as much as his Little. He indulges in his creative side with her. He plays I-spy while waiting in long lines. He takes her to the park and pushes her on the swing. He draws pictures with her. And under the covers at night, he tells spooky ghost stories. Sometimes he even tells adult-type stories to make her all tingly and warm. A Daddy is a great story-teller.
Patient: A Daddy Dom is patient. A Little can be a handful. She is excitable and exuberant one second, relishing in her child-like wonder. The next moment she may be worried about an upcoming adult meeting. Then she may be sullen and cross. And then there’s the almost omnipresent brat, that terrible teenaged temptress of a Little that seeks a scolding or tongue lashing, that thrives on negative attention, a quick smart corrective slap or forceful push OTK for a corrective spanking. But Daddy is slow to temper. He breathes in, breathes out, knowing these moods and temperaments are fleeting.
Sadistic: Not all Daddies are sadistic or sexual with their Littles. And that’s perfectly acceptable. But for those who are, many a Daddy Dom comes from a BDSM background and can be rough and forceful for his own sadistic satisfaction. Under the cover of training or education, he teaches his Little the “ways of the world.” He bites and pinches, leaves marks, slaps her across the face, spanks her hard. He may even laugh (Muhahaha) at her distress as he does so. A Little looks up to his Daddy so much and knows that Daddy will never ever harm her. He may hurt her. He may choke her and pull her hair. He may even pull her pants down and do those things that Daddies must do. But he will never ever truly harm her.
What does a Daddy Dom Do?
Nurtures: Perhaps above all, a Daddy Dom nurtures his Little. He establishes an environment in which she can flourish to the best of her abilities, no matter what those are. If she is adept with flowers, he helps her cultivate a garden, helps her with soil and seeds. If she is good with pets, he finds her good books for pet training or goes with her to walk the dog. Whatever her particular talents, he praises her and instills in her the confidence to succeed in whatever she sets her mind to.
Structures: A Daddy Dom structures his Little’s time and activities. Just as children do, most Littles require structure and boundaries to excel. They may need enforced bedtimes, or bedtime routines (use the bathroom, brush teeth, braid hair, get rid of pajamas in Daddy’s bed! – Okay, that last is my rule for my Lolita in my bed.). They may need larger daily structures to balance work, family, meals, study time, play time. They may need help curbing excessive TV watching or scheduling exercise. A Daddy is instrumental in helping his little get the most out of her day through various structures.
Encourages: Sometimes a Daddy Dom must encourage his Little to try new things or explore the unfamiliar. Again, like children, Littles are notorious for not wanting to try new things, for always ordering chicken fingers for lunch. A Daddy Dom will order something more exotic, such as ostrich burgers or calamari, and insist that his Little try it. Despite her protestations (“yukky” “blech” “meh”), Daddy knows that she must try things in order to grow. How does she know she doesn’t like it until she tries it? How does she know what she likes if she hasn’t tried it? A Daddy Dom will encourage her to experience as much of life as possible. The hidden backdoors of life contain valuable experiences that many Littles have grown to love.
Enforces: A Daddy Dom must enforce the relationship dynamic. He sets the tone. He establishes structures and boundaries. rules to guide and protect, rituals to follow, procedures to ensure compliance. His Little girl’s well being and happiness are his utmost objects of desire. She is precious to him beyond all else. Even when it’s difficult, when she has erred and is crying, when punishment is necessary, when bedtime is upon her, he must enforce, with consistency and fairness, their established rules. Daddy is the enforcer. The buck stops with him.
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There are too many words in the English language that can apply to a Daddy Dom. Some Daddies may be sterner and some Littles may desire a sterner Daddy. Some Daddies are old softies and laugh while sitting back more passively to watch their Littles play. Some Daddies look like they have jumped straight out of a leather magazine, flogger in hand, boots ready to be shined. And some Daddies may play video games and go to college. You, dear reader, may choose an entirely different set of words to describe a Daddy Dom.
But these words and attributes were chosen with great care. If you have an established DD/lg relationship or you have just learned about DD/lg and are excited about exploring this lifestyle, here’s somewhere to start. Find out just what kind of Daddy Dom you are. Find out just what kind of Daddy Dom you want. Use the definition above as your starting place.
One thing is for certain: However you play out your DD/lg dynamic, a Daddy Dom loves his Little beyond all other things. She is the raison d’etre of his existence.
Without his Little, he is just another Dom.