Social Networking and Kink – Part 2

 Posted by on October 6, 2011
Oct 062011

By Lucy Lemonade

The art of conversation has gotten lost in the new age of email and instant messages. Picking up on my last article regarding social networking and kink, I’m going to discuss the ins and outs of the introduction message. Many social networking sites have the ability to browse profiles and send a message. This is your time to show just how awesome you are.

Let’s say you are browsing profiles and find an amazing person you would love to meet. If you are like me, you agonize over an introductory message before sending it. As a lady who can be very picky when it comes to who I reply to, this message is your first (or last) impression.

Before you send that message, go over my tips on the perfect profile to make sure your profile is as bright and shiny as it can be. Remember, a profile picture of your penis will automatically receive an “ignore” from a majority of individuals. Next comb over this amazing individual’s profile and review the sort of kink that they are looking for. No reason to write an excellent introductory message if the person may just discard it.

While you are browsing that profile, take the time to select some specific tidbits that interested you. Perhaps a specific fetish or interest of theirs that you share. It is highly flattering to know that someone took the time to really pay attention to a profile you probably took a fair amount of time building.

Now is the hard part, the actual writing of the introduction message. The best thing is to keep it short and sweet. A five paragraph introduction can be overwhelming, but three or four well thought out sentences can keep a message from feeling daunting. An overall casual tone is best, unless you are absolutely sure the individual would desire a high protocol situation. An example is that I list myself as fairly dominant, but would be very turned off by someone using the term “Mistress” as that is not the terminology I enjoy.

It is perfectly acceptable to be honest and say “I’ve seen your profile several times but was too shy to message before” or “I just found your profile and had to message.” But there is no need to get dramatic about the situation or over-dramatize your reaction to their profile. Next would come the self-introduction. Give the name you are comfortable with whether it is your scene name or first name. It allows a nice pause in the flow of conversation when reading the message instead of placing it at the very beginning which can come across as pushy.

Fill in the middle with those interests of theirs you found earlier. Make certain not to make any aggressive assumptions of placing yourself into any of their fetishes unless you feel very certain it would be happily received. Do not gush too much, just brief compliments will do.

Wrapping up a message like this can go different ways. You can give a simple “I’d love to hear from you” or send a friend request and let them decide whether to respond to the message. Some people give out their screen name for instant messaging, but it is not my preference since I would rather chat via the site first.

Now that you have completed your perfect introduction message, make sure to hit send! And a quick note for those of you receiving these excellently thought out messages: it is only polite to give a response, even if it is a simple “thanks for writing, but I’m not interested.”