My husband and I have spent years building up our Sex Closet. Now it’s full of clothes and play things and costumes and other crazy good stuff.
We don’t put on full out costumes every time we have sex, but we pull something from the Sex Closet at least half the time. It might be just a simple piece of lingerie. Or maybe a gorilla suit, you never know.
We’ve learned some good sex clothes buying practices along the way, so I thought I would share some of them.
The Basics: Sex Clothes
I consider sex clothes to be in three categories.
Lingerie: bras, panties, tights, garters, socks, stockings, teddy sets, nighties, slips, and the like
Clothes: sexy shirts, shorts, pants, skirts, halter tops, dresses…plus anything that qualifies as street wear but is in your Sex Closet, not your regular closet
Costumes: whatever you are into – ours range from coyboys and indians to rock stars to Helga and Hans wearing their best underground sex club vinyl wear (hint: we are Helga and Hans).
Starting with clothes…
I love knowing that I have everything I need to throw together a micro mini stripper skirt, a zany bra, knee high socks and crazy shoes, some black eye liner and purple lipstick, and then pull my hair into messy pigtails and voila! We have goth girl on her way to a rave.
And of course, we have everything in the Closet we would need for her to encounter a mechanic on his way home from work, a professional banker on his lunch break, a biker dude on his way to the bar, or a dude from the Matrix who is the romantic fantasy ideal of the raver goth girl. See how fun this is?!?
Goth girl is just one of hundreds of outfits I can pull together in a flash (and just to note, I am nothing even remotely resembling a goth girl, and that is why it is fun to pretend to be one). To have many dress up options, you have to start building up your basics.
Bare minimum for my standards for women would be:
At least 5 cute but slutty tops
At least 5 slutty dresses
2 pairs of slutty pants
At least 3 slutty skirts
All clothes need to be washable and preferably made with cotton or other natural fibers. Repeatedly having sex in clothes gets them extra filthy… what with the lube, body fluids, make up, spilled alcohol, candle wax, stuff from the floor where you might be rolling around, and who knows what else. This isn’t every day laundry dirt. This is Hardcore Sex Dirt.
Of course, you can use clothes from your regular wardrobe. You might already have 5 slutty dresses (disguised as salsa dresses) and 3 slutty skirts (disguised as sexy work skirts) right there in your everyday line up. But really…it is best not to use your main clothes because part of the real charge you get out of having a Sex Closet is that it is truly a separate closet, with a separate wardrobe.
I recommended those specific go to items listed above be your basic minimum because these items can end up representing just about any profession or situation you can think of.
Also, instead of sending it to Goodwill, if you get a little stain on a button down work blouse, send it to the Sex Closet and some night, pull it out for sex and have your lover RIP IT OPEN and BUST ALL THE BUTTONS off in a great show of un-repressed lust!!! So fun!
It would suck to go through life without ever having had the buttons busted open on your blouse. So recycle everything you can.
Next…Lingerie…obviously you need a good amount of it. We have spent money accumulating decent quality lingerie over time. We have found that the cheap flimsy stuff at stripper stores just doesn’t hold up, it doesn’t fit well, and it looks trashy.
If you’re on a budget, I suggest you buy the fewest pieces of high quality stuff you can afford and then build on your collection over time.
Costumes…you actually can piece together cheaper articles, as long as they look good on you and fit well. The Halloween type costumes don’t tend to fit well and don’t hold up to rough sex…but you might find something really cool that is inexpensive at a thrift store.
Stockings and body stockings are WAY COOL and they can be very inexpensive. I recommend getting as many pairs of those as you want at any porn/stripper store, even the cheap ones will usually hold up for quite a while. I just throw them in with regular wash and they don’t even get ruined. They are not fragile, which is great when you are into rough sex.
Closet Basics for men, this is my preference:
5 well fitted boy shorts, at least one in leather
2 or 3 tight muscle hugging shirts
At least one pair of really sexy pants…not an easy find in men’s pants but not impossible, try for vinyl or leather
Many more items can go into the Sex Closet for the men, but at least start with these items. You have to start building from something. All the same rules apply regarding natural fibers and re-purposing items from his regular wardrobe.
Shoes are their own category, of course. Sex shoes can be those crazy tall hooker heels, or thigh high boots, even just simple regular daily shoes (depending on the outfit or costume). I have many shoes that stay in the Sex Closet, but I will also raid my regular shoes for a certain look sometimes, or even sometimes depending on the type of sex we will be having.
Comfort during the sex experience is a factor to be considered before you even get dressed for it. If I am going to be off my feet for most of the sexual experience, I can wear killer 6 inch stilettos, as they will be just for show anyway. I can’t wear those though if we’ll be doing it standing up, or even if we will just be moving around a lot, because they’ll be killing me by the end of the night and it will distract me from the fun sexy stuff. So when buying those huge tall stripper shoes, you need to keep in mind that they are not practical nor comfortable, but it can be worked around. Don’t expect to be able to chase each other around the room in this type of shoe.
Of course, no shoes at all is how we usually end up, but there are some sex sessions that are all about just the shoes and shoes are the only item of clothing worn.
My husband has Sex Shoes in the closet, too. Or sometimes I tell him to put on the motorcycle cop hat and his regular closet biker boots, a big feather boa, and nothing else. Mmmm.
The Cherry on Top: Sexual Style
The rest of the items in our Sex Closet have to do with our specific sexual stylings and kinks. These would vary so much from couple to couple, but here is a short list of some of ours…
Sex Gear: Whips, Chains, Cuffs, Leashes, Collars, Riding crops, Clamps, Tie Downs, Huge Fake Strap On Breasts, etc.
We like buying cool boxes and organizing containers for this type of stuff, so it isn’t just rolling around on the floor of the closet, you know? Plus it is just fun…to sort and organize all your Sex Closet gear and props.
And one last note…if you don’t have a real closet that is available for use, consider buying a wardrobe or other type of separate storage furniture, you need a special place to put your Fantastic Fantasy Sex Closet.
Marie Franklin is a sex writer, matchmaker and dating coach. She has a blog called *I Married a Sex God* where she shares ideas about kink and monogamy. She believes in equality and choice, but also feels that you can have as much intimacy in monogamy as you can in non-monogamy. www.mariefranklin.blogspot.