By Mako Allen
When it comes to having power, it doesn’t matter if you’re dominant, or submissive. Trust me on this: you are the most powerful being in the entire universe.
You can literally do anything. You can use this power to do great good, and despicable evil to anyone, even yourself. Where did you get this power? You’ve always had it, because just like me, you dear reader, are one with the Tao.
The Tao is like a well:
used but never used up.
It is like the eternal void:
filled with infinite possibilities.
It is hidden but always present.
I don’t know who gave birth to it.
It is older than God.
To even begin to understand your power as part of the Tao, realize that it is infinite, eternal, everlasting. As you sit at your computer reading this column, the Tao is that computer, as well as your fingers on the keys. It’s the electricity passing through the machine, which lights the pixels on the screen that make these words. It’s even the very words themselves. It’s the last thought you had, the next breath you will take, as well as every other thing that ever is, was or will be.
All that is, is the Tao.
This is a powerful concept, and so immense that it’s almost impossible to wrap your mind around it. To make it worse, the Tao hides while it shows itself, everywhere. You can’t measure it, can’t count it, and can’t stop it. It’s an ageless power, which existed long before man ever spoke a single word.
But if you understand the Tao’s power, it’s yours to use. I don’t mean that abstractly either. Using this power you can manifest all the joy, creativity, time, energy and even money you’ll ever need. The more you use Tao’s power, the more of it there is.
To use the power, you have to change your perspective. See yourself as part of the infinite, eternal Tao. When you do, you’ll understand your problems differently.
They shrink, becoming the transient, brief markers of change.
At the same time, your power to do anything increases, and you gain access to a vast array of resources.
Let’s take a real world example of this: being a submissive and wanting to find someone to dominate you.
Every kinky person I know has gone through the “I am weird, and there’s no one like me” phase, including me. In fact, I went through it multiple times!
First, back when I was in my teens, I harbored a secret shame over my desire to be spanked.
I was miserable. What I was doing was engaging in a form of fatalism. I wrote myself a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom, shame, and unhappiness. “I’m lonely, my life stinks, and it will never get any better,” was the script I wrote for myself.
And it was true, because I was making it so. I was blind to all the power and resources waiting for me, provided by the Tao. I was grinding myself under my own oppressive boot heel.
But when I’ve opened myself up to Tao’s power I’ve been able to use it to my advantage.
I began to explore the scene community while I was in college. From the very first exploratory conversations with people, and forays onto the Internet, I began to see that I wasn’t alone. I stopped seeing the world as against me. The Tao provided me with a direction, to seek out others like myself.
After graduation, I began to meet lots of people through the local kink community, including kinky couples. While it was a great experience, seeing people living life on their own terms, it made me incredibly jealous. I wanted someone whose fetishes and interests matched mine, to share my life with. I slipped into that trap of fatalism again, because of my profound envy. I wanted what they had so badly, and never thought I’d find someone for myself.
But then I tapped into Tao’s power again, and saw that I was lucky to have these people as my friends. They played with me, and cared about me. Moreover, I discovered connections I had to people, places, and resources through those friends. I made dozens of friends in the Washington DC and Baltimore BDSM community.
By opening my eyes to the power at my command, I was able to use it to go new places, grow in new ways. I’ve had many beautiful, wonderful, kinky relationships since that time.
I have four polyamorous partners, and an abundance of kinky friends. I can’t even count the number of people who have spanked me, or whom I’ve spanked.
The truth about suffering is that all suffering is limited, and transient.
Ever notice how the last fifteen minutes of your workday on a Friday feels like it moves slower? You’re making it move slower. That same effect is true about your patience to find a dominant to tie you up, or get that beating you’ve been craving.
Slow down, breathe, and realize that that moment of frustration isn’t forever. The crushing weight of despair you feel today will fade over time. When considered from the even longer perspective of the Tao, it will dwindle to invisibility very rapidly.
When you realize that you’re part of something that is everlasting, and can think in that “universal time”, you can see you’re moving along at just the right pace.
The truth about power and resources is that everything you need is actually already around you.
Any change you want to make in your life you can. The frustrations or despair you might feel about any situation are just your transient, self-centered ego, trying to limit the Tao, which is impossible. Instead of giving in to that nay-saying voice, or trying to argue with it, practice silence. Let your inner voice rage in despair, and then be quiet. Then turn and see the limitless power available to you to have, do, change, or be… anything.