By AliceSin Aerie
I’m going to blow my wad right up front and tell you the best thing I know: Keep It Moving
When brainstorming about this month’s column I found myself weighing out the best piece of wisdom I have ever received. I can’t say it came from one particular source but was more synchronicity that converged upon me over a short span of time. Okay fine, it was more like I was hammered over the head because I am one stubborn bitch – but it doesn’t have to be that hard for you. So if you’re reading this and it begins to become a theme in your life, take heed because it’s a lesson you need as well.
Keeping it moving is the best way to deal with every loss, change, hurt & disappointment that come your way. Big or small. Even death.
How do you keep it moving when you have been crushed to tiny, bitter smithereens?
First off, don’t blow off the impact of what has happened to you. You have complete & full permission to process & mourn your setbacks. What counts is how you do it. Feel your feelings. Digest them. Whether you do this best on your own, by talking to a friend, family member or a professional – it doesn’t matter. When you find yourself slipping or perhaps taking your feelings into a situation or out on a person who didn’t cause the hardship, take a step back. If you need to retreat to your neutral corner for a time to do it, make it happen. You deserve to treat yourself with TLC when you need it and you don’t need to justify it to anyone else. There is a huge difference between wallowing and constructively taking a time out to think and act upon what will better your situation.
Now you must tread water until you don’t feel like you’re going to drown anymore. When you get to this place, begin to move forward. Set a new goal for yourself, it doesn’t matter how small. For example, simply getting together with a couple of friends for a night out can be a big step out of your comfort zone. Once you take this first step, no matter how unsteady – keep it moving. Set a new goal & take a new step.
These first steps may feel like just the thing you needed and you may find yourself running head-long down a new path with a renewed zest for life. If that happens for you congratulations!
Most of the time keeping it moving is harder than it sounds. Your new path may not be a smooth one, either at the start or along the way. You might find that you need to start a new path more than once. It doesn’t matter if it’s smooth, bumpy, or your change your mind numerous times, it just matters that you keep taking steps. If you make a choice that doesn’t work out, make a new choice. If you meet a new person or people and it doesn’t work out, keep it moving.
New situations will bring about new setbacks no doubt, but more often they will bring on opportunities and rewards we wouldn’t otherwise have had. Sometimes an opportunity can look like a setback at the outset but ultimately will lead you to a better place than where you started.
Keep it moving, and remember to enjoy the highlights along the way.