“I enjoy service submission, but sometimes dislike the actual assignments given by Dominants. How do I do things well, when I don’t want to do it?”
That’s totally an understandable situation. I personally hated cleaning the glass & frames for the artwork in my Leather Daddy’s house, to the point where I would literally have to fight myself to do it – so I definitely can relate! Here are a few things to think about…
· What is it about the assignment that you don’t like? Is it that you don’t know how to do it easily / efficiently or that you don’t feel that your work is up to their expectations? Is it that you feel like it’s a waste of your time & talents to do that task? Or is it simply a case of disliking the task itself? Spend a little time thinking about it, and figuring out what the real issue is. By all means, if it’s a lack of knowledge or skill, bring this up with your dominant and ask them if they can guide you in finding a better way to do it, or if they would mind you requesting assistance from someone who is more experienced.
· There is one reason that an assignment may be distasteful that should be immediately brought to the dominant’s attention: the crossing of a personal boundary. If you believe that the task you’ve been given to complete crosses a significant boundary, you owe it to your dominant to address this with them. They may not realize that the assignment represents a line that you don’t want to cross; they may also have conceived of the task differently than you understand it to be. In either case, an honest conversation about how the assignment makes you feel is important to the building of your trust in your dominant – and theirs in you.
· Consider the many reasons that a dominant may give you to do a task. Sometimes it’s because the task is necessary for the dominant to have the quality of life they wish; sometimes it is because the dominant does not have the time or skills to do the job as well as you may be able to do it. And, on occasion, an assignment is given to a submissive or slave in order to see how they handle certain tasks; I often start new service people on more simple, menial tasks to see how they conduct themselves and whether they’re committed to our agreement before giving them projects that are more important to me, or more suited to their talents.
· Look at your long-term goal. Many submissives feel called to service because they want for their dominant to have an easier life, or to make their home or office more comfortable for them. Some submissives like to know that their work makes their dominant proud. Still others desire the affection & approval that comes from a job well done. In any case, letting the ego get in the way of those goals – by telling us that we are better than the task we’ve been given, or by becoming stubborn about their completion – can become incredibly counter-productive. Focusing on moving past our own ego challenges can bring us more into the state of mind where we can understand the value and humility in our service, and reap the rewards – personal esteem, the knowledge that our dominant is happy because of our work, and the understand of how important our work is – even the little things!
-Sarah Sloane, © 2010