By Katie Diamond
Okay, kids. Let’s get real.
Let’s talk about…sex. Mmm hmm, I saw you double-take. Close that CrashPad porn, turn off the latest Gaga single, and settle into your seat, kiddos.
On the PolyWeekly Podcast, Cunning Minx sensually says at the end of each segment, “Because it’s not ALL about the sex.” Which is true–up until now, my posts have been primarily about how to navigate the relational aspects of polyamory.
But let’s pause a second and think about sex. Yes. There you go. You’re either turned on, or slightly wigged out AND turned on because I’ve made you think about having sexual relations potentially outside of your current relationship set-up. But FEAR NOT–I’m gonna keep it simple here, tater-tots. We’re gonna talk about how to TALK about sex, and incorporate some safer sex into your horizontal mambo.
Are you taking notes yet? Good. Work that pen.
Oftentimes, when navigating sex, folks tend to imagine a soundtrack starting shortly after a first date and suddenly, without words, they’re fucking. While I really love cinematic sexuality, this sort of scenario is just plain unrealistic. Y’all are gonna have to talk–whether you’ve been courting this sweetie for weeks via romantic dinners, or you just met in the back of your local leather bar. You’re gonna have to say something–no, not your entire sexual history! But something–most likely: do you have protection?
Really! It’s that simple. The truth of the matter is that a simple sentence like that can clear the air and relax everyone involved. It’s a lot easier to talk about how to wrap up a boner before said-boner is out and about and making decisions for everyone.
If talking about it before or as the sexy is happening starts to feel scary, another suave move is to simply take out the glove or condom or female condom or lube or finger cot or…you get the idea… Pants off, gloves out–that’s the way we like to fuck.
So, my advice to you, true believers? Try it. Try these things! Put the sex back in safer, and rock on.