Posted by on June 20, 2011
Jun 202011

By Julian Wolf

What drives you? What do you find yourself thinking about every day? How do you spend your time? In what do you invest your money? For some of us, the answers to these questions are easy to articulate. In my case for example, I would say I am driven by my passions and then name and elaborate on the details of those passions.

What is passion exactly? The Oxford Dictionary defines passion several ways, the fourth definition is the one that we’re going to use, an “intense desire or enthusiasm for something” and that’s exactly what this column will be discussing. What do you desire? What enthuses you? Most of us spend hours every day working, both for ourselves and for other people. Is your work something that you’re passionate about? Even if what brings you a “paycheck” is not something that you’re passionate about, most of us manage to do things that feed us in ways other than the literal. Our passions certainly vary. In the vanilla realm, some of the most common passions include hobbies such as gardening, working on cars, arts and crafts.

Sports is another common “hobby” that many are passionate about, and not just those who actually play the sport they’re interested in. Photography is another “hobby” that reaches many. We travel to interesting locations and always take a camera with us, landscapes seem to be of particular interest to my family. My household was completely passionate about the care of our exotic pet, and we devoted a great deal of time to his care, feeding and amusement. Caring for animals is something that many are passionate about, and some of their passion develops into volunteerism. Volunteerism in itself can be a passion, and that certainly can lend itself to more than our vanilla lives.

Passion is a particularly attractive state of mind, in my opinion. Passion is something that I seek out, in a variety of forms. This is a somewhat common practice, though not everyone recognizes it as such. Having similar passions, particularly when they mesh up in the more erotic aspects of life, can be a base for a relationship. Friendships are frequently based in people sharing similar passions, as our communities. Keeping that passion alive in relationships and within a community can sometimes be challenging, particularly when ones gets to a point that is sometimes called “going through the motions.” Reminding yourself of why you’re there and making sure that you’re feeding the passions that put you there in the first place is an exercise that I recommend engaging in regularly.

As a hedonist, I’m passionate about experiencing life to its fullest. As a dandy, I’m passionate about dressing for events and the little details that can make an outfit extraordinary. As an activist, I’m passionate about making our world a better place to be authentic in. As a kinkster and a fetishist, I’m passionate about connecting and playing with other passionate kinksters and fetishists. As a person, I’m passionate about family and all the forms that family takes in my life.

Dear readers, let me propose that you take a moment away from the hustle and bustle of every day life and consider your passions, and if you are living them, hopefully celebrating them. Ask yourself the aforementioned questions, and give yourself permission to be completely honest with the answers. This exercise has the potential not be the most pleasant moment alone with yourself, but it can certainly change your life for the better. I encourage you to reward yourself for taking the time. In fact, let me also propose that you set up your reward in advance, so you have something delightful (and may I suggest hedonistic) to look forward to.

Enjoy yourself.