Aug 062011

By lunaKM

I’m not a new fat person, I’ve been fat since my pre-teens. I’ve been ridiculed and laughed at, shunned and ignored more times than I care to reflect. But as an adult, I have begun to hear some of the most insane things about large women, especially having to do with sex. The interesting fact is that people attracted to fat women and curvy girls themselves are believing these things enough to spout them.

Perhaps you’ve heard of a few yourself in the circles you frequent. Did you discredit every single one? Probably not. You may have even had in opinion about their validity. And yet, none of them are completely true. They are commonly used to explain how a big girl is with a man, or when the couple you see looks so into each other even if the woman is fat.

Let’s just get these out in the open and talk about them one by one. Each one of these is a myth, there’s no doubt about that, and how do they manifest into commonly talked about lore anyway?

Fat girls are desperate and easy.

I have no clue how this myth came to being and as a knee-jerk reaction I’d say an average or thin person started it when they saw how happy a couple of people were where the girl was overweight. In clubs and bars all over the Midwest (so I assume other places as well), the ladies are very possessive of the men there – even if they didn’t come with them. So, to shine a negative light on the over-average ladies that may be around, this phrase gets bantered about.

And you know what? The guys begin to believe it. So what is the result? Atrocious and rude/lewd behavior just to see if they can get some from an “obviously desperate” fat woman. Curvy girls get just as much sex as the next girl and the attention we receive that is positive I’d have to say is right about equal as well. We are just as picky as everyone else when it comes to who we date or have sex with, some of us not wanting to be with anyone that doesn’t have a sincere interest in our body type to begin with.

Fat girls should only date fat guys.

As a teenager in high school all of my friends tried to set me up with boys. The common thread was that the fat boys were the only ones they set me up with – I guess thinking that like should date like. Unfortunately, I didn’t see it that way. I saw it as a way to discriminate against me.

If people were only meant to date others who were like them, then interracial couples would never occur, geeks would date geeks and football players would end up with cheerleaders. If any of you have been to a 10 year high school reunion you will see that’s not always the case.

It’s the same with me. What I find physically attractive has nothing to do with my own body type, hair color or background. It’s chemistry, pure and simple. I’ve dated men of all shapes and sizes and never dismissed them out of hand because they had a body type that didn’t match mine. It’s just insane to think we only desire more of the same.

Fat girls are more adventurous in bed.

I run a rather large group of BBWs on a social networking site and this comment comes up so many times in the span of conversation; especially from BBW lovers and chubby chasers that I have to wonder if there is some truth to it. How could this myth develop into what so many believe to be true?

I don’t think there’s any difference in sexual adventurousness between the average and larger sizes. Sure, larger ladies have flexibility issues, but so do some thinner people. I think perhaps that it came about as a way to encourage large ladies that sex with them is fun and that there are men out there that prefer them. If you place me next to another lady that is exactly the same size I’m sure that we will have different preferences and desires in the bedroom. It’s hard to hear these generalizations when they are just not true.

Ultimately, we have to realize that no matter the size, people are going to be different the world over. Setting stereotypes, encouraging generalizations and overtly being negative is offensive. My beauty doesn’t come from someone else’s beliefs in the sexual conditions of fat people. IT comes from within me and my own confidence. If you feel sexy it will show for the world to see. Don’t buy into the myths you hear and embrace your sexual prowess, whatever that may be!

  2 Responses to “Fat Girls are More Sexually Adventurous and Other Myths”

  1. I am also a bigger woman. I have wondered about my sexual proclivities, my emotional mind set in relation to them, and wonder if *I* am the way I am (kinky/adventurous/outgoing/chose your own word) to make myself appear more attractive.

    When chatting to guys many of them say ‘oh, wow, I’ve never met anyone who will do that’ – and I get a thrill knowing that I do, and I can give them what they want. But is that actually something I, personally, like? Or am I getting off on acquiesce? If I wasn’t offering such and such an act, would they want me? would I still be as tempting?

    I honestly believe that some myths are a result of a shallow self esteem. One not believing within themselves that they are a good and attractive woman in their own right and offer inducements as a result.

    • That’s a very good point, and I agree that some myths are a result of low self esteem or trying to appear more sexually attractive to partners to cover your size. Thanks for the comment!