Foreplay. It is what we do to arouse ourselves and our partners before sex. We all have different things we enjoy for foreplay and the time we like to spend on foreplay before sex. Having sex with an overweight partner is about awareness as well as passion. You want to make sure that your partner is as comfortable as possible with what you are doing with their body and also getting aroused by it.
So, why is fat sex different? Many overweight people are very negative body conscious. If you do try to arouse them in a way that makes them overtly aware that they are fat it could have a negative effect on the foreplay and possibly end the sexual encounter all together. Let’s face it, what we really want is to make each other feel good, right?
It’s important to know that not all overweight people have the same body hang ups as others and you should definitely talk to your partner before sex about what parts of their body they don’t like. For many its their belly, or hips, heavy arms. Others it could be their butt or back. Knowing where they are uncomfortable will guide you to how to avoid making them uncomfortable during foreplay. Also talk about flexibility and mobility issues they may have as some of the more common positions for sex acts may not work for you and your partner.
Once you know what makes them uncomfortable, tell them what you love about their larger body. Tell them that it arouses you when you touch or caress the body parts that they have issues with and see how they respond. If it’s with any sense of aversion you should avoid those areas until your partner is more comfortable with it.
Pursuing this further, let’s cover some of the common activities during foreplay and how they may change when teasing and turning on an overweight partner.
There is nothing more sexy than having your partner whisper naughty things in your ear about what they want to do with you. The power of someone’s voice in arousal thickened tones is intoxicating. But there are things you want to avoid saying when you are talking to a negative body conscious person.
Never direct attention to their extra flesh. Don’t say things like, “big, fat, wide, chubby, plump” when referring to their bodies – especially the parts they have told you make them uncomfortable. These are sensitive words and have been known to shut down arousal all together.
Sensually removing clothing can have a heightened sensual response in people. It can also put a halt to progress if you fumble. That bra strap you can’t get undone? It probably has more hooks than a fisherman’s tackle box. It may be hard to get to the button on pants. For large people clothing rarely just falls off like you see in porn. We typically have to wiggle and tug a bit more, and that could make us more aware of our bodies.
If you want to help us take our clothing off, and really we’d love the intimacy of it, go slower. If you are having issues with a button or zipper or something, ask us to get it. Make us feel good for taking our clothing off for you.
Many fat women, especially, would prefer to keep an item of clothing on and not be completely naked. Accept that we aren’t ready for this exposure and don’t push. Clothing or covers gives a large woman an illusion that we are hiding our flaws and we feel safer for that.
Exploring the body is hot and since your skin is the most erogenous organ it stands to reason that you will want to explore your lover’s body to turn themselves and you on. This can be unnerving though if you are overweight or uncomfortable with your body. If you’ve read my article about how I used to feel about my body just touching my large stomach or other trouble areas could bring me to tears and turn me off. You certainly don’t want to do that! That’s why talking to your partner before hand will help.
Steer clear of the sensitive areas until they are more comfortable with you touching them – if that’s what they want. Bring pleasure to them in other ways and focus on the parts of their body that they show that they like.
On the other side, if they are the one being active in touching you, be aware of uncomfortable body positions for your partner as one of the most common issues with larger women is decreased flexibility and mobility.
In all things sexual, remember that the point is to have fun and enjoy your partner. Talk first and learn to love their body more than they do – they might see themselves through your eyes and confidence will reward you. Fat sex can be beautiful.