The Etiquette of Social Networks and Kink

 Posted by on September 9, 2011
Sep 092011

By Lucy Lemonade

Social networks have become part of our everyday life, whether we enjoy them or not. They can be great for connecting with old friends or seeing new pictures. A social network devoted to kinksters also exists. I use Fetlife to connect with new friends I have met at events, and search for new compatible playmates in my area. But the problem that plagues most of the social aspect of the internet invades Fetlife as well; a lack of etiquette.

I suspect that if you are reading Fearless Press you have to be an intelligent, witty human being who knows the basics of etiquette. I am still going to give a primer for everyone as practice makes perfect. It is always good to brush up on your social skills.

Your profile is your digital first impression. This is your chance to control what is seen by others. You want to convey who you are as scintillating creature who requires a second glance (or page view). The first step is create the most attractive packaging as possible. Make sure to describe who you are and what you are looking for. Don’t rely solely on the generic forms that are offered, go into detail of what you desire. While this is a social platform for kink, it is also great to include some vanilla tidbits about yourself. Do you make the most delicious cakes, or perhaps have a unique hobby such as old-fashioned woodworking? Including this helps to create a full profile.

Profiles stand out when they are unique, but humble as well. You may consider yourself to be the most powerful dominant or the sexiest submissive who lives on their knees, but allow others to give you compliments instead. That’s what the wall section is for. Telling me that I need you, makes me want you less.

Profile pictures are of high importance, do not underestimate their importance on your viewers. For the main picture, please remember that it is not polite to show your genitals to strangers. This rule holds true on kink social networks as well. Please keep your pants on and allow some mystery to build. In the case of those who enjoy genitorture with needles and sounding, feel free to post picture of your handiwork. However make me have to delve deeper in your profile to find them.

Your profile picture does not have to be a professional portrait. For some of us professional kinksters a little privacy must be kept to keep our vanilla careers intact. In this case offering an artistic photograph of your body that doesn’t show your face is perfectly acceptable. My main profile image is that of just my lips in Petals n’ Peacocks lipstick (MAC). This picture shows my love of colorful lipstick and make-up and conveys my femme personality. Great options include a body part wrapped in intricate ropes knots if your into shibari, or nice whip marks from a great night in the past.

I have given the ins and outs of developing an attractive, informative profile for kinky social networking. Next installment of Stepford Kink will concentrate on the etiquette of the introduction message and overall kinky networking etiquette.