Keeping a sexual connection in a long term relationship is not a given, but with some intention and self-awareness, I believe it’s possible. In some ways, I think it’s a choice to believe that it’s possible—I am invested in loving someone over a long period of time, and I want it to be possible. I […]
Language is something that is constantly fascinating to me. The way we use it, the way it shapes us, the way we can choose to shape it. Language is particularly fascinating when it comes to “sex work”. The term sex worker can be polarizing, both within the sex work community and outside of it. There […]
Social support networks are crucial for both parents and sexual minority groups. In the studies I’ve created and contributed to, over and over, we can see the detrimental effects of isolation and invisibility. We, as hyper-social beings, need to see ourselves reflected in the actions of others. We need that reverb to let us know […]
One thing I vividly remember from my youth is the fervor with which my mother collected Lladró…and I just didn’t get it. I wasn’t the sort that liked dolls and dress-up (though I do now), so I could not understand what it was about these porcelain sculptures that she liked so enjoyed. If my mother […]
Glossy fetish models in magazines always look perfect, but anyone who has had experience in a very physical scene understands the reality. Instead of the flawless face, you end up with running mascara, sweaty brow, and smeared lipstick. Working up a sweat can be a rewarding feeling, putting your full effort into connecting with your […]
One of the most common questions polyamorous people get from our monogamous friends and family is about jealousy. Don’t we ever experience jealousy? How do we handle the green-eyed monster when we do? So for the record, yes, poly people do sometimes experience jealousy. I suspect we get jealous about as often as monogamous people […]
Panties. Bloomers. Thongs. Girdles. Briefs. Knickers. There are many names for the articles that those of the feminine persuasion don under their clothing. Lady’s undergarments have almost always been a thing of legend, from the corsets and bloomers of old to the (frequently sung about) peek-a-boo thong of today. The conversation varies from naughty innuendo […]
Much has been written about how a Dominant/Top should care for their submissive/bottom during the evolution of a scene. Concerns over possible abuse, inaccurate techniques and unsafe surroundings have been discussed, lectured and written about to no end. As the dominant ones, we are told it is our mandatory responsibility, for all our encounters, to […]
This article is the second of a two-part series about raising the question of BDSM with a potential romantic partner one has met without knowing whether there is a shared interest in BDSM. So you have met someone and you think you hear opportunity knocking. What do do? If you are going to raise the […]
I hate how we, within our communities, works so hard to police, to judge, and to ultimately tear our own communities apart. Heck, who needs the conservatives and the far right to bring us down, when truly, we are already working as small groups to tear us apart from the inside? Just the other day, […]