I’m a poly, kinky, pagan, heteroflexible, sex-positive, pro-feminist, almost-forty white male. I've done a lot of different things in my life, but right now I am a full time graduate student. When I'm done with my program I'll either be a teacher somewhere or a world famous writer. Or possibly asking you whether you want a "Tall" or a "Venti". Hopefully not that third one. Read Full Profile...

May 232013
Stalking the Elusive "Unicorn"

Once you get into the online polyamory world, it won’t be long before you see your first personal ad from a couple looking for their “unicorn”. All of you poly veterans out there are already nodding your heads. In the poly world, a “unicorn” is a young, single, non-crazy, sexually adventurous, drug and disease-free bisexual […]

The Monogamy Myth

 Posted by on January 20, 2013
Jan 202013
The Monogamy Myth

Kate Bornstein wrote about the modern imperative for identity in her landmark book, “Gender Outlaw”.  Identity is the “need to belong” to a recognizable group, and in her opinion, this is particularly true in regard to gender and sexuality. “Monogamous” is one of the largest self-identified sexual identities, and according to at least one study, […]

Poly Math

 Posted by on December 2, 2012
Dec 022012
Poly Math

Polyamory and poly relationships are complex. Which is no surprise if you know anything about or have any experience with polyamory. But for people new to poly, managing poly relationships is an exercise in higher math that they might not be aware of. Let’s take a simple example, and one common to the kink world. […]

The Ultimate Question

 Posted by on August 9, 2012
Aug 092012
The Ultimate Question

There comes a point in nearly everyone’s life as a polyamorous person where they ask themselves the single most important question they can. Unfortunately, it usually comes under a cloud of doubt, pain and misery. It is almost always a “newbie” question, but it can happen to anyone. The way it usually happens is all […]

Jealousy Management

 Posted by on July 19, 2012
Jul 192012
Jealousy Management

One of the most common questions polyamorous people get from our monogamous friends and family is about jealousy. Don’t we ever experience jealousy? How do we handle the green-eyed monster when we do? So for the record, yes, poly people do sometimes experience jealousy. I suspect we get jealous about as often as monogamous people […]

Oct 072011

By Micah Schneider In the last month, I’ve seen this question come up in more than one place. Is polyamory something that you do, or is it something that you are? Are some people poly the same way some people are homosexual or straight, submissive or dominant or a greedy bisexual switch? My answer is […]

STI Comfort Zone

 Posted by on August 10, 2011
Aug 102011

By Micah Schneider

A friend messaged me the other day to ask for advice. This friend was in a bit of a bind, and wanted an outside opinion. My friend, who has been poly for a long time, has a partner who has started a relationship with someone new.

Prioritizing Your Partners

 Posted by on May 22, 2011
May 222011

By Micah Schneider

In the last few days, I’ve been thinking about something repeatedly. It isn’t too surprising, as the last few months have been really busy for my family. We welcomed the birth of our first child in early April…