Many years ago, as a bright-eyed and optimistic undergraduate college student, I attempted to join my university’s LBGTQ (Lesbian, Bisexual, Gay, Transgendered, and Queer) organization. Notice I said “attempted,” not succeeded in joining.
The popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey has catapulted BDSM into the mainstream for a new generation, but E.L. James’ bestselling erotic novel is far from the first time kink has made its way into popular culture. From seemingly innocent spankings to highly eroticized scenes of dominance and submission, BDSM has been cropping up in […]
When asked about “leather culture,” one might conjure up images of black leather jackets, motorcycle clubs, strict hierarchies, and ultra-masculine men. In the world of kink, “leather” and “leather culture” can be a confusing and controversial topic. It’s a concept inundated with history and steeped in beliefs and practices that come from a variety of […]
We’ve all learned the secret to good, successful relationships by now, right? Communicate, communicate, communicate! It’s one of the favorite mantras of relationship counselors the world over. Whether you’re trying to solve issues with integrating your girlfriend’s boyfriend’s new lover into your poly family, planning a special activity with your spouse of 30+ years to […]
In 1994, Pat Califia committed her thoughts on gender, sexuality, censorship, kink, prostitution, safer sex, and leather to print in a book titled Public Sex: The Culture of Radical Sex. As an outspoken, self-identified leather dyke, Califia took on laymen and academics alike for “white-washing” and “sanitizing” sex and its transformative and radical abilities. She […]
Often those that participate in kink, BDSM, and alternative lifestyles like to think of themselves as social outlaws, people that live and love on the edge. They view themselves as renegades and outsiders, shirking the rule of mainstream society. And, in some ways, I suppose this is true. In comparison to mainstream culture, kink is […]
WARNING…WARNING!!! I’m going to talk about race and I’m likely to say a few things some of you may not want to hear. As much as American society likes to claim we’re moving or have already moved into a post-racial era (we have a Black President after all), the fact remains that many of our […]
In William Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice, Shylock muses “If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die?” after being mocked and derided for his outsider status as a Jew. Many in the BDSM community are left asking the same […]