Let’s Start from the Top. Or is it Bottom?

 Posted by on December 20, 2012
Dec 202012
Let’s Start from the Top. Or is it Bottom?

“I want to be a dominant! People tell me I should start out as a submissive. Is that right?” Let’s start by taking a look at two reasons why people might suggest this idea. More so in early days of the public and organized BDSM scene, many saw a hierarchy of ranks between dominants and […]

Respect & Cherish

 Posted by on October 5, 2012
Oct 052012
Respect & Cherish

One of the models I tend towards with regards to Power and Authority Exchange is based on Taoism and the interplay between yin and yang.  For a quick primer on how this may play out in the context of authority in D/s relationships, you can read a piece I wrote on Intent v. Rules.  You […]

Novice Dominant

 Posted by on October 4, 2011
Oct 042011

By Sarah Sloane Dear Sarah, I am a novice dominant and I’m interested in finding a submissive; I’ve been trying to get to know people at my local munch group (as well as online) but I’m having trouble with finding someone special. Some people treat me like I don’t know anything because I’m young (I’m […]

BDSM Explained: Acronyms Abound

 Posted by on July 11, 2011
Jul 112011

By Sea

This article is first of a three-series article that explains what BDSM is, and why people enjoy it. It would be helpful to those with or without an interest in BDSM who wish to know more about the terms and origins of interest, and those into BDSM who are looking for ideas for how to explain it to others.

The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

 Posted by on April 24, 2011
Apr 242011

By Amethyst Wonder

Last month, I wrote about having my sexual orientation questioned. Continuing in that theme, this month I’m writing about identifying as a switch and being told that that means I can’t be dominant…

Single, searching submissive

 Posted by on March 25, 2011
Mar 252011

By Sarah Sloane

Dear Sarah,

Last year in your column, you wrote about what a dominant should look for when screening potential submissives. As a submissive, I find that there are a lot of people out there that are looking for someone to be submissive for them, but I have trouble narrowing down the people who are serious about it

He Believes in Me

 Posted by on February 17, 2011
Feb 172011

By Rayne

I always find it difficult to explain our dynamic. I am a willing slave. I gave M complete ownership of me. And yet, saying that doesn’t tell you much. For a person can own someone completely, but choose not to take complete control. And unless you’ve been exposed to kink on some level, the images that come to mind when one mentions slavery are not pretty.

Where Unimportance Takes Us

 Posted by on January 19, 2011
Jan 192011

By Rayne

People occasionally talk about ignoring someone (or being ignored) as punishment in a consensual owner/property relationship. For those who believe in ”Let the punishment fit the crime.” it’s often used in response to the submissive being disrespectful in speech. And M has never really used it.