Very few people have been given healthy approval, support and respectful privacy to self-pleasure. On the contrary, most people have vivid memories of being overtly shamed at a young age by others about the natural discovery of sexual self-stimulation. Just a few short decades ago, the ignorance and shaming of masturbation in the medical field […]
I recently had the experience of becoming friends with my fear. Fear can exist in many ways and in Buddhism, it is one of the key beliefs of meditation, and throughout your day, you have to sit with it. Not push it away, not try to block it out, but acknowledge that thoughts exist and […]
Often those that participate in kink, BDSM, and alternative lifestyles like to think of themselves as social outlaws, people that live and love on the edge. They view themselves as renegades and outsiders, shirking the rule of mainstream society. And, in some ways, I suppose this is true. In comparison to mainstream culture, kink is […]
OK, I will confess, I really wanted to write something else. I really wanted to write about the interesting obscenity case going on in the United Kingdom, or about whether prostitution laws apply to pro-dommes. I really wasn’t planning on writing another “you can’t consent to assault in the context of a BDSM relationship” article. […]
Sometimes, when I take a moment to look around the dungeon and really take in all the scenes that are happening and the conversations going on, I start to feel as though being kinky has become a competitive sport. When I first entered the kink and BDSM community, it was more of the old guard […]
This article is a continuation of Experiments for Better Sex: Part 1 So now for the specifics… 1. Identify The first thing you have to do is take a good look at your sex life and identify what’s going on. Admit you have a problem, in other words. Ask yourself—and your partner—two questions: What do […]
There I was, like so many others in the lunchrooms of corporate America, watching a coworker read 50 Shades of Grey. She asked my opinion, and I politely declined to share it. I haven’t read the book. I’m not interested in passing judgment on the book. Plenty of other folks have read it and rendered […]
Many times when discussing toys, the conversation revolves around the experience of the one receiving instead of the one giving the punishment. I would like to share my experiences in searching for the right toy. When shopping for a paddle to use on my partner, I explored many materials; rubber, leather, acrylic, and wood. I […]
Conservative Christians would have you believe that the founder of their faith demanded sexual purity – no nookie before marriage, not much after, and all restricted to heterosexual intercourse. As one talk-show host summed it up: “Sex is so dirty, you should save it for the one you love.” Uh huh. Well, guess what? Jesus […]
One of the models I tend towards with regards to Power and Authority Exchange is based on Taoism and the interplay between yin and yang. For a quick primer on how this may play out in the context of authority in D/s relationships, you can read a piece I wrote on Intent v. Rules. You […]