Is BDSM a Matter of Sexual Orientation?

 Posted by on March 17, 2013
Mar 172013
 
Is BDSM a Matter of Sexual Orientation?

William Saletan argues on slate.com that BDSM is not a sexual orientation. Dan Savage agrees (Dan would likely want me to clarify that he doesn’t agree with much else that Saletan says on this matter in case you don’t click on the link to Dan’s article). Let’s take a look at this question, shall we? […]

Please Skip the Please, Thanks for not Thanking Me

 Posted by on February 18, 2013
Feb 182013
 
Please Skip the Please, Thanks for not Thanking Me

A question arises in BDSM circles from time to time. Should a dominant say please and thank you when interacting with a sub? The title of this column might make you think that please and thank you are for the fakes. Not so! I am not here to say that dominants should avoid saying please […]

Let’s Start from the Top. Or is it Bottom?

 Posted by on December 20, 2012
Dec 202012
 
Let’s Start from the Top. Or is it Bottom?

“I want to be a dominant! People tell me I should start out as a submissive. Is that right?” Let’s start by taking a look at two reasons why people might suggest this idea. More so in early days of the public and organized BDSM scene, many saw a hierarchy of ranks between dominants and […]

Planning a Kinky Dinner Party

 Posted by on December 14, 2012
Dec 142012
 
Planning a Kinky Dinner Party

With the holidays coming around the corner, it is the time where people get together to celebrate. In the kink scene, there can be a number of different social gatherings. There is the conference, the workshop, a munch, or a play party are examples. But sometimes it can be more enjoyable to socialize without worrying […]

Nov 232012
 
Gay Man Meets Gay Woman and They Live Happily Ever After!

There was a lesbian couple where one partner was dominant and the other partner was a switch. The switch could not always accommodate the dominant partner’s wants and so they discussed opening their relationship to bring in other submissives who would rank below the switch. And they decided to do just that with submissive men! […]

The Culture of Radical Sex?

 Posted by on November 4, 2012
Nov 042012
 
The Culture of Radical Sex?

In 1994, Pat Califia committed her thoughts on gender, sexuality, censorship, kink, prostitution, safer sex, and leather to print in a book titled Public Sex: The Culture of Radical Sex. As an outspoken, self-identified leather dyke, Califia took on laymen and academics alike for “white-washing” and “sanitizing” sex and its transformative and radical abilities. She […]

Using the Force

 Posted by on October 30, 2012
Oct 302012
 
Using the Force

Editors Note: This article is about consensual BDSM. The author nor the site condones any time of non-consensual abuse. If someone wants to be beaten and is beaten, are they really being beaten? Of course they are! If someone wants to be tied up and is tied up, are they really being tied up? Of […]

Going Rogue: Dragging Kink Into the Shadows

 Posted by on October 16, 2012
Oct 162012
 
Going Rogue: Dragging Kink Into the Shadows

Often those that participate in kink, BDSM, and alternative lifestyles like to think of themselves as social outlaws, people that live and love on the edge. They view themselves as renegades and outsiders, shirking the rule of mainstream society. And, in some ways, I suppose this is true. In comparison to mainstream culture, kink is […]