All Posts – Page 44 – Fearless Press

Nothing is Beyond Conversation

Posted by MicahSchneider on March 7, 2011

Mar 072011

By Micah Schneider

There really isn’t a lot a difference between writing an advice column for polys than writing for mono folks. Aside from occasionally needing Venn diagrams to describe our relationships, we’ve got the same problems and issues to overcome. We share in many of the same hopes and dreams. My topic this time comes from a friend of mine, and it applies to everyone, regardless of relationship style.

Nothing is beyond conversation.

It’s an idea that is relevant to my own life right now. There are four of us (soon to be five, sometime in March. Congratulations and Treasury bonds for the little bundle of joy welcome!) in our family. One of us has an outside partner at the moment, someone that we all consider a dear friend. They’ve been dating for about a year now, and it has slowly been growing into a deep and meaningful relationship.

As it was developing deeper, our partner wasn’t telling us that it was happening. This relationship started as a fun little exploration, two friends clicking and wanting to see where it went. Harmless enough, and fairly common if you’re poly. One of the best parts of being poly is not having to slam on the breaks when someone fancies you just because you have a partner already.

The mistake, of course, was forgetting to keep us in the loop. It wasn’t nefarious, or ill-intended. Far from it. We all like this outside partner, and we all spend a lot of time together. But while we were all spending a lot of time together, in various combinations, we weren’t talking to each other about where this relationship was going.

Our partner was worried about having this conversation, because where the relationship started and where it was going were two different things. But we all talked, in various combinations, and when we were done, everything was fine. Better than fine, maybe. The two lovebirds are off having their very first sleepover date as I write this. That wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t talked.

A partner taking a relationship to the next level is a big deal, and scary to boot. Lots of things are. Changing jobs. Having a child. Going back to school. Starting a business. Life changing events, potential or otherwise, should be a no-brainer to talk to your partners about, right? Nerves can be funny like that. But if you’ve got that next big dream, next big idea, or next big love, don’t put it beyond conversation, or you may never realize it.

Let’s talk about…sex

Posted by KatieDiamond on March 4, 2011

Mar 042011

By Katie Diamond

Okay, kids. Let’s get real.

Let’s talk about…sex. Mmm hmm, I saw you double-take. Close that CrashPad porn, turn off the latest Gaga single, and settle into your seat, kiddos.

Sex.

On the PolyWeekly Podcast, Cunning Minx sensually says at the end of each segment, “Because it’s not ALL about the sex.” Which is true–up until now, my posts have been primarily about how to navigate the relational aspects of polyamory.

But let’s pause a second and think about sex. Yes. There you go. You’re either turned on, or slightly wigged out AND turned on because I’ve made you think about having sexual relations potentially outside of your current relationship set-up. But FEAR NOT–I’m gonna keep it simple here, tater-tots. We’re gonna talk about how to TALK about sex, and incorporate some safer sex into your horizontal mambo.

Are you taking notes yet? Good. Work that pen.

Oftentimes, when navigating sex, folks tend to imagine a soundtrack starting shortly after a first date and suddenly, without words, they’re fucking. While I really love cinematic sexuality, this sort of scenario is just plain unrealistic. Y’all are gonna have to talk–whether you’ve been courting this sweetie for weeks via romantic dinners, or you just met in the back of your local leather bar. You’re gonna have to say something–no, not your entire sexual history! But something–most likely: do you have protection?

Really! It’s that simple. The truth of the matter is that a simple sentence like that can clear the air and relax everyone involved. It’s a lot easier to talk about how to wrap up a boner before said-boner is out and about and making decisions for everyone.

If talking about it before or as the sexy is happening starts to feel scary, another suave move is to simply take out the glove or condom or female condom or lube or finger cot or…you get the idea… Pants off, gloves out–that’s the way we like to fuck.

So, my advice to you, true believers? Try it. Try these things! Put the sex back in safer, and rock on.

Salacious Magazine Boston Launch Party

Posted by MsSavannah on March 2, 2011

Mar 022011

By Savannah Sly

On Sunday, January 26th, I found myself flipping through sixty pages of glossy debauchery. I was holding in my hands a comprehensive collection of illustrated pornography and erotica, the sticky stories and carnal cartoons of Salacious Magazine. With a compelling depiction of a “come one, come all” orgy sprawling across the front and back covers (in attractive shades of purple), Salacious is not the type of naughty magazine one can consume on the sly in public. Luckily, I was in the good company of the folks attending the Salacious Magazine launch party in Boston, where I could leisurely thumb through the material, pausing here and there over an especially exciting or obscene page.

I experienced a little bubble of giddiness to see the diversity of the content reflected in the variety of people who had turned out for the launch. All around me, amidst a bit of raucous schmoozing, folks of many ages, colors and dispositions were doing the same thing; hefting the considerable volume and scanning around for something that caught their interest. The nice thing about Salacious is that there really is a little something for everyone. As a queer feminist sex rag, Salacious is intent on depicting erotica for and by people across the gender spectrum, of all shapes, races, and preferences. There’s ton’s of hot trans action, where gender stereotypes and biology gets swapped for thick prosthetics, unpredictable encounters, and some seriously down and dirty fucking. There’s bears, Dommes, Daddy’s, subs, lovers, sluts, super heros, and lot’s a juicy mind-fucks. Roles between characters are established (dominant/submissive, butch/femme, top/bottom), but rarely do they fall within mainstream standards and quite often, there are complexities involved beyond simply getting it on.

When Katie Diamond, the founder of Salacious Magazine launched a KickStarter account to raise funds for the first edition, the dream was to publish a knock-out volume of high-quality smut. SMART smut! Diamond swore to publish porn that not only turned cranks, but that stirred the mind by offering insight to the politics of the profoundly personal. While offering artists and writers a chance to explore any imaginable aspect of queerness, Diamond also stayed true to the lascivious nature of graphic pornography. As a result, the work in Salacious is gritty, steamy, dripping wet and fucking fantastically wank-worthy, yet highly mindful and carefully curated.

Salacious Magazine has been receiving a healthy dose of high praise in print and online, and deservedly so. If you want to check Salacious out, you’ll have to visit the magazine’s website, or borrow a friend’s copy, which may mean gently plying the gummed-up pages apart…careful not to rip it! You don’t want to miss a thing…

Doctor-Patient Confidence: A Fat Woman in a Doctor’s Office

Posted by lunaKM on March 1, 2011

Mar 012011

By lunaKM

Since moving last summer I’ve had to find new places to get my hair done, where to get my groceries and my favorite spots to eat. One thing I haven’t found yet is a doctor. I dread looking for a new primary physician. Ever since I was a teen I’ve been humiliated, not listened to and had other medical emergencies misdiagnosed all because I’m fat. Having to go through it again drives me to avoid doctors whenever possible.

It’s not an uncommon occurrence. You can find issues with doctors and overweight people with a simple Google search. Problems I’ve had with doctors are echoed all over the blogosphere; from poor judgement calls to straight out harassment. It makes many fat people avoid the doctor and potentially remain undiagnosed or untreated for long periods of time.

Doctors are trained to see and treat medical issues and with the weight of media focusing on obesity as ‘the new epidemic,’ doctors feel it is there cause to try to shrink people. Sometimes forcefully and repeatedly. What’s in their arsenal to barrage you with?

* Type 2 Diabetes
* Arthritis
* Heart Disease
* Stroke
* Sleep Apnea and other sleeping disorders
* Gastro-intestinal issues
* Cancer
* Shortened life span

These things are scary on their own, but none of them are caused by obesity. Sure there is a heightened risk, but weight is not the only risk factor for these things. You can’t eat yourself to Diabetes, and we all know average sized people with sleep apnea or snoring. Cancer and heart disease are equal opportunity diseases also.

Gastric bypass is supposed to be some miracle fix for obesity, but has anyone really learned the statistics? They are scary. While it is true that according to statistics 95% of people have a 65% success rate, no one says that they have to take at least 20 pills and nutrient supplements daily to compensate for the lack of nutrition they aren’t getting from food. The amount of food that a gastric patient eats in a day is under 2 cups. Anyone can lose weight with that amount of food. Most gastric surgery is irreversible. This means that you’ll be stuck with the pills and starving yourself for the rest of your life. It’s a permanent alteration of your body’s normal function.

So when I’m looking for a confident doctor, who am I looking for? I need someone who sees me as a person, not a disease. I need someone who will listen to me and my concerns and not blame every ache and pain on my excess weight. I need someone to stop trying to push gastric surgery when I’ve told them I will never consider it.

I’m not looking for a magic pill or a miracle. I’m looking for you to take care of my health. When all my tests come back normal I don’t need you trying to hunt down something ‘causing’ my weight issues. Be happy that I’m healthy. Encourage my happiness. Build my confidence in your ability to care for me as a person, not a disease.

And that’s a big one. If I’m happy why must you insist on making me feel horrible about what may happen to me if I continue being fat. I’m not stupid; I live in this body. I see the news, same as you do. Whatever happened to do no harm? Does emotional and mental harm not count? It’s not your job to make me feel guilty and destroy my self-image. I do that enough on my own. The only thing it will get you is fired.

Last week I fired my last doctor. He doesn’t know it yet but when I’m in need of new tests for my thyroid condition this summer I’ll be doctor shopping again. I can only hope that each doctor I move to I can learn just a bit more to stand up for myself and to toughen my skin. I’m healthy and beautiful and I just need a doctor to see what I see. Does any such doctor exist?

How to have a Kick-Ass Sex Life

Posted by LeahShapiro on February 27, 2011

Feb 272011

By Leah Shapiro

Do you feel good about your sexuality?

This has been the topic of discussion over the past few weeks on my radio show “My Kick-Ass Dream Life”. We’ve been doing a 4-week series of shows called “What About Sex?” and we’ve been digging deep into this topic. (So deep that we seem to have gotten into a bit of trouble with the BlogTalk “authorities” for being too explicit, but that is a different story.)

During a women’s circle I was in 2003, we were asked to describe how we felt about sex and our sexuality. Out of 24 women, only three said that they felt empowered by their sexuality. The rest of the women expressed disappointment, shame, fear, pain, and deep dissatisfaction about their sexual experiences. It made me wonder why so many people settle for a sex life that is less than satisfying.

I find that it all comes down to your relationship with self. It’s related to how well you know and trust yourself, and how committed to your own happiness you are.

Sexuality is such an integral part of who we are and a big part of our creative energy. It’s a form of self-expression, and a place for deep connection with ourselves and our partners (or partners, depending on how you roll).

And let’s not forget about the pleasure that sexuality brings! There’s potential for so much juicy goodness!

You can have the sex life that you desire–you just have to give yourself permission! You have to trust yourself and know your desires. Your cravings are a natural thing, there is nothing evil or wrong about them, but we tend to make them wrong in our minds.
When it comes right down to it, the only thing preventing you from having what you want is your thoughts about having it.

Maybe you think about wanting to try something new, and you immediately wonder what your partner will think of you if you suggest it to them. What if they reject you and think you’re some kind of freak? So you deny your desire and ignore that part of you.

It’s not surprising that we do this. The primary culture model around sexuality is shame-filled, shallow and dysfunctional at best, and there are double standards galore!

I remember being a young kid and going to church with my friends, and the priest gave a sermon about the evils of touching yourself and the importance of being chaste. Even as a young kid, I knew this was bullshit! To me it was something natural that stirred inside of me. There was no way I was going to believe that I was somehow evil for having impure thoughts. My friends were another story. They bought into this hook, line, and sinker. Now, that is not to say that they didn’t have sex, because they did. Matter a fact, this same friend was pregnant at 15. Her family sent her away to a religious home for unwed mothers. Talk about shame!!! The question is: how do you feel about your sexual desires?

Do you feel ashamed of your thoughts and desires, or do you open up to them, exploring and experimenting with them?

Do you make yourself wrong for wanting something kinky, or do you welcome the pleasure that it brings?

Do you look for the things that bring you gratification and freely allow yourself pleasure?

This last one is a big one! In my mind, sexuality is all about pleasure, and from what I see with the people I work with, so many of them have mixed feelings about pleasure. To some, seeking pleasure is selfish, frivolous, or something to be earned or rationed out.

One of the biggest misconceptions is that pleasure is something that someone else is suppose to give to you. Rather than taking matters into your own hands and discovering what feels good to you, you expect that your lover is going to know what pleases you. You are making someone else responsible for your pleasure and satisfaction. No wonder there are so many sexually unsatisfied people out there!

It’s time to stop settling!

Just like with everything in life, you are the only one who knows what will make you happy, satisfied, and feel good. Give yourself permission to discover exactly what turns you on and makes you feel delicious. Give yourself consent to play, explore and experiment. Don’t be afraid to go it alone and try things out on yourself to learn what works for you.

Remember: don’t let your thoughts get in the way of your good time! Start to notice the places where you let in your desires or hold them back and make them wrong. Trust your desires. They’re all good.

Let me know what you discover!

The Digital Art of Ray Ceasar

Posted by ErinFae on February 26, 2011

Feb 262011

By Erin Fae

As a rule, I don’t like digital art. I find it too artificial and long for a sense of the artist’s hand. However, Ray Caesar may change the way I feel. The Toronto-based artist creates stunning portraits of great sensuality and fantasy using his computer.

Caesar sees the computer as a tool without limits that allows him to play and work “automatically.” He has said that he doesn’t think of the digital aspect as his medium, but as the technique he uses to carry out his visions. His pieces start out as pen on paper, an idea. Then, using Maya (a 3D modeling software used for digital effects), he builds models of his figures, and drapes them in rich fabrics, textures, colors—life. His women seem to be made of porcelain, and he places them in meticulously-rendered environments. The results are a beautifully composed and otherworldly works of art.

Caesar’s works have a painterly quality. If not for the digital element, one might mistake his era. He draws inspiration from many decades: 1940s Hollywood glamour, with red lips and white pearls; the underclothes of the 1950s, with raised dresses and tight garters, and shades of Rococo that would make Marie Antoinette blush.

The works are dreamlike. Here, fantastical, sensual and fetish themes overlap seamlessly. Imagine: a regency-era scene, a girl sits alone, the top of her dress coming undone, her skirt hiked up by a sinuous tail and pink ass revealed [A Familial Affectation (2011)]. A masked girl lies with her legs up in the air on a chaise lounge, her slip falling in tendrils around her [Mourning Glory (2008)]. A young dominant in red white and bows mounts her slave in a 1930s living room–saddle, riding crop and all [Side Saddle (2008)].

I always discover new details when I revisit these works. They seem to be carrying secrets that can only be discovered through repeat investigations. Perhaps this is what I most appreciate about Ray Caesar’s images. It is not just that he’s made me believe that a digitally created work is akin to a painting, but that he plays with the curiosity of budding sexuality and always makes me look a little deeper.

Critically Thinking About Sex Toys

Posted by DeirdreODonnell on February 25, 2011

Feb 252011

By Deirdre O’Donnell

Who Has Access to Safer Sex Toys and Why They Should Appeal to Leftists and Rightists Alike

When we think of sex toys, a word we don’t often associate with them is privilege. However, it is important to recognize that there is a very particular demographic to whom the sex toy industry is accessible. Sex toys run at expensive costs, safer sex toy shops can be difficult to locate, and knowledge about what makes a safe toy is not always at everybody’s fingertips. Sex toys can be wonderful tools for increasing pleasure during solo sexual acts or with partners, while also encouraging communication, dialogue, and sex-positivity. So it is unfortunate that it isn’t a well-known fact that erotic toys are not available to all. Not only are they inaccessible to many for systemic reasons, but they are also often stigmatized for those who can and do purchase and/or use them.

Sex toys are usually labeled by those who are in opposition to them as dirty or gross. This probably links back to upbringing and socialization that involves developing a strong “moral” compass that says producing orgasms and using sexual organs without the intent of reproduction is lustful and wrong. Therefore, sex toys are stigmatized despite their many productive qualities, since their sole purpose is for pleasure and they cannot play a role in reproduction. Sex toys should not be discredited and avoided as a subject for moral reasons, because it denies an opportunity to talk about important health issues. Many sex toys are able to spread sexually transmitted infections and pose other concerns to human health without the proper care and cleaning so therefore should be taught about in a comprehensive manner just as sex should. People are going to make bad decisions if knowledge is not accessible to them.

Not providing knowledge is a form of oppression, since information is power. Human beings have biological and psychological impulses, desires and needs. They are going to engage in sexual behavior if they decide to regardless of law or public opinion so they should be capable of doing so in the safest and most informed way. Even making sex toys illegal is not an effective or intelligent option, because then people will put things into orifices that do not belong there and are unsafe. If a sexual behavior involves a risk (and all do except for manual, organic, solo masturbation) then discussing those risks should be accepted as valid when discussed in familial and academic settings in a way that promotes safety and health. When human health is at stake, it is irresponsible to approach the issue exclusively as a moral debate, regardless of political and/or personal emotional response to the topic.

This lack of information translates into the denial of personal rights for minorities and subcultures, which have the most difficult time accessing health and pleasure information. Sex toys are either not viable options for some, or knowledge about them is limited. Both of these facts are limiting disadvantages. If sex toys were normalized and masturbation was in turn a more acceptable and talked about behavior for both categories of the sexual binary, then over time heated issues like teen pregnancy and abortion would probably not be as prevalent and in turn not as major controversies.

If information was taught about them in schools in a detailed, accessible and proud way, then this would probably limit transmission of STI’s and bacterial imbalances. Dialogue, easily obtainable education and equality in the distribution of resources are the only ways to truly create a healthy and sex-positive nation.

There are many resources available that provide cheap or free information about sex toys, sex-positivity, communication and safer sex practices. However, even this information can be limited to more privileged groups in society. In order to help redistribute information and power to the people we can; orally spread knowledge, be proud of who we are and what we represent and hold one another accountable as allies. We can have discussions about the taboo and share experiences. We can make zines and freely distribute them. We can make our own safer sex toys out of zucchinis and cucumbers with condoms over them as dildos. We can re-appropriate resources and orgasms in order to play safer and stay healthy.

Four Levels of Cosmic Orgasm

Posted by TMBernard on February 24, 2011

Feb 242011

By T.M. Bernard

“In Tantra, having an orgasm is more than just a physical release of energy from the genitals. It is a full-bodied state of ecstatic energy that runs throughout your entire body.” Luminessa Enjara

Ecstatic sexuality can be traced to many philosophical and spiritual teachings; to far away lands and cultures that are no longer with us; to a time when oral traditions passed on the sacred wisdom of sexual connections. Tantra is one such ancient practice that is growing in popularity as people find themselves yearning for ways to integrate the spiritual and sensual within, and between, partners. It stands to reason that this exploration of the transcendental nature of sexuality touches on all aspects of intimacy, including orgasm.

One of the teachers from whom I’ve learned the most is Luminessa Enjara, a long-time teacher and practitioner of Tantra in the San Francisco bay area. “Orgasm is probably one of the most spiritual and sacred processes available to us as physical beings it is very valuable to realize that there are many different levels that can be attained.” she recently explained. From the familiar to the blissful, this is one way in which she conveys the experience known in tantric circles as the Great Cosmic Orgasm.

First Level of Orgasm: At this level there is a moderate amount of physical satisfaction, but no real spiritual or heart connection. A desire to be held, cuddled and talked to may arise or a desire to be left alone. Your mind can be either talkative or shut-off. During orgasm there are involuntary contractions.

Second Level of Orgasm: At this level there is more physical satisfaction, release and balancing and the beginning of a spiritual and heart connection. There is a desire to give and nurture. This experience can be more meditative. The body is glowing, flushed and tingling.

Third Level of Orgasm: At this level there is much more fulfillment and connection in all aspects of our beings. There is a desire to give, stroke, cuddle and you may find yourself laughing. There is a wonderful camaraderie and joy in being together. You may find yourself moving into a dream state, and then become talkative. The body is humming and vibrating.

Fourth Level of Orgasm: At this level there is a complete fulfillment and merging of all aspects of our beings. You may experience bliss and love for all, an open, pure heart/love-light connection to the Allness of life. You may find cohesion with your partner and a merging of your energies.

Whether, when and how lovers will experience these differing types of orgasms will vary from person to person, and “the alignment and openness between two people making love,” says Luminess. However, even lovers with a limited understanding of ecstatic sex, or those engaged in self-pleasuring, can intuit how healing the experience can be. At the very least, orgasm feels good physically. Realizing that there can be more to it, spiritual and emotional blessings in fact, opens us up to experiencing a deeper consciousness into our relationships.

T.M. is a regular contributor to FearlessPress.com. You can follow her on twitter and visit her at TinaMarieBernard.com

Questioning from Trust

Posted by Graydancer on February 23, 2011

Feb 232011

By GrayDancer

Hey, tops. How do you feel when a bottom says “Why did you do that?”

Hey, bottoms. How do you feel when a top slaps your hand away from the rope and mutters “Don’t help.”

Here’s an even more fun one, for those of you in a relationship, mono or non- : “So, now that we’ve met [NAME], what do you think of [GENDER PRONOUN]?”

Hint: Many Western-culturalized males will recognize this question as one of the Great Traps of Conversations with Your SO, only slightly less treacherous than “Does this make me look fat?”

The thing is, all of these statements have one thing in common: they are only hurtful if they are asked from a place of suspicion, or if they are perceived to be.

Think about that. The inner monologues go something like this:

“Why did you do that?:

TOP: Oh fuck, she doesn’t think I know what I’m doing. She’s not being submissive at all. She’s probably laughing at me right now! Goddamnit, I would have gotten it if she hadn’t’ve interrupted my flow! GAHHHH!

BOTTOM: Doesn’t he care enough to make it feel right? He’s not even checking the ropes, much less paying attention to me! I’m just a piece of meat to hang that fucking rope on. He probably doesn’t even remember that it’s me in the ropes, he’s probably thinking about somebody else. Fucking prima donna.

“Don’t help.”

TOP: See above.

BOTTOM: See above.

“So now that we’ve met…what do you think?”

You don’t really need that explained, and if you think I’m dumb enough to dig that hole for myself, you obviously think I’m an idiot. In fact, you’re probably only reading this blog because you want to quote parts of it on BDSM_snark and chuckle about it with your friends. Fine, go ahead, if my blog’s not good enough, maybe some other blog will make you happy. Just go on, I don’t even care any more. Obviously I’m not enough, and I’m sure you’ll be much happier over there with that interesting intelligent person…

You get the idea? It’s all about insecurity, either in yourself or in the other person.

So here’s the idea: work on how you ask those questions so that the person knows they’re coming from a position of trust. “I know you know what you’re doing, but I noticed a rope twist up here. Mind if I fix it?” “No, I’ll go over all those later – right now it’s just a spice for the experience. Thanks for letting me know.” Both cases acknowledge the value of the other person.

Or you can establish trust through opening yourself up first: “She seemed nice, and pretty, too. Do you think she’d like to hang out with us more? You two seemed to have a lot in common.” Suddenly instead of “You vs. Me” it’s “Here’s my view. And I’m secure in us, so here’s how we can continue to explore things together.”

Here’s the sucky part: it’s hard to learn to communicate this way. It takes practice, it takes conscientiousness, it takes going around and around in circles with “What I’m hearing you say is…” and starting over again. Non-violent communication is one way, and going to classes on kink communication in particular can help (btw, if you sign up for that, let ’em know I sent ya, ok?).

However, if you do take the time, in the long run, it’s worth it. Because one of the 10 Commandments of Kink is:

Thou shalt ask for what thee wants, and thou shalt get what thee asks for.

No more, no less.

Keep It Moving

Posted by AliceSinAerie on February 22, 2011

Feb 222011

By AliceSin Aerie

I’m going to blow my wad right up front and tell you the best thing I know: Keep It Moving

When brainstorming about this month’s column I found myself weighing out the best piece of wisdom I have ever received. I can’t say it came from one particular source but was more synchronicity that converged upon me over a short span of time. Okay fine, it was more like I was hammered over the head because I am one stubborn bitch – but it doesn’t have to be that hard for you. So if you’re reading this and it begins to become a theme in your life, take heed because it’s a lesson you need as well.

Keeping it moving is the best way to deal with every loss, change, hurt & disappointment that come your way. Big or small. Even death.

How do you keep it moving when you have been crushed to tiny, bitter smithereens?

First off, don’t blow off the impact of what has happened to you. You have complete & full permission to process & mourn your setbacks. What counts is how you do it. Feel your feelings. Digest them. Whether you do this best on your own, by talking to a friend, family member or a professional – it doesn’t matter. When you find yourself slipping or perhaps taking your feelings into a situation or out on a person who didn’t cause the hardship, take a step back. If you need to retreat to your neutral corner for a time to do it, make it happen. You deserve to treat yourself with TLC when you need it and you don’t need to justify it to anyone else. There is a huge difference between wallowing and constructively taking a time out to think and act upon what will better your situation.

Now you must tread water until you don’t feel like you’re going to drown anymore. When you get to this place, begin to move forward. Set a new goal for yourself, it doesn’t matter how small. For example, simply getting together with a couple of friends for a night out can be a big step out of your comfort zone. Once you take this first step, no matter how unsteady – keep it moving. Set a new goal & take a new step.

These first steps may feel like just the thing you needed and you may find yourself running head-long down a new path with a renewed zest for life. If that happens for you congratulations!

Most of the time keeping it moving is harder than it sounds. Your new path may not be a smooth one, either at the start or along the way. You might find that you need to start a new path more than once. It doesn’t matter if it’s smooth, bumpy, or your change your mind numerous times, it just matters that you keep taking steps. If you make a choice that doesn’t work out, make a new choice. If you meet a new person or people and it doesn’t work out, keep it moving.

New situations will bring about new setbacks no doubt, but more often they will bring on opportunities and rewards we wouldn’t otherwise have had. Sometimes an opportunity can look like a setback at the outset but ultimately will lead you to a better place than where you started.

Keep it moving, and remember to enjoy the highlights along the way.

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