The Monogamy Myth

 Posted by on January 20, 2013
Jan 202013
The Monogamy Myth

Kate Bornstein wrote about the modern imperative for identity in her landmark book, “Gender Outlaw”.  Identity is the “need to belong” to a recognizable group, and in her opinion, this is particularly true in regard to gender and sexuality. “Monogamous” is one of the largest self-identified sexual identities, and according to at least one study, […]

Loving the Curves Ahead

 Posted by on January 16, 2013
Jan 162013
Loving the Curves Ahead

Both my boyfriends are runners. One, in fact, runs marathons. Although built differently, they are muscular and lean. When we get naked I spend a lot of time running my hands over their chests and abs and legs, luxuriating in the different textures of skin, hair, muscle and bone. They’re beautifully constructed, and I love […]

Emotional Collateral Damage

 Posted by on January 14, 2013
Jan 142013
Emotional Collateral Damage

To fully understand how we connect within relationships, we have to realize that we are energy beings that reside within a human vehicle.  When we go through life holding on to pain we have experienced in past relationships, we begin to create a build up of resentment that blocks our natural flow of energy.  Some […]

Blossoming Affection as Activism

 Posted by on December 16, 2012
Dec 162012
Blossoming Affection as Activism

When last I visited my Seattle boyfriend, we were holding hands in public on our way to a movie in the downtown area. After many years of therapy and self-work to rid myself of abusive religion in my childhood, I was proud of myself for being so comfortable — almost unconscious about expressing basic affection […]

Sex With an Ex

 Posted by on December 12, 2012
Dec 122012
Sex With an Ex

“I know for a FACT that, if I actually wanted to or TRIED, I could fuck ANY ONE of my ex-girlfriends!” My other male co-workers nodded in unison at The Cartoonist’s affirmative statement. “Bullshit,” I replied. I demanded that there was no way in hell any guy I’d already been with could just magically get […]

Poly Math

 Posted by on December 2, 2012
Dec 022012
Poly Math

Polyamory and poly relationships are complex. Which is no surprise if you know anything about or have any experience with polyamory. But for people new to poly, managing poly relationships is an exercise in higher math that they might not be aware of. Let’s take a simple example, and one common to the kink world. […]

Oct 072011

By Micah Schneider In the last month, I’ve seen this question come up in more than one place. Is polyamory something that you do, or is it something that you are? Are some people poly the same way some people are homosexual or straight, submissive or dominant or a greedy bisexual switch? My answer is […]

Novice Dominant

 Posted by on October 4, 2011
Oct 042011

By Sarah Sloane Dear Sarah, I am a novice dominant and I’m interested in finding a submissive; I’ve been trying to get to know people at my local munch group (as well as online) but I’m having trouble with finding someone special. Some people treat me like I don’t know anything because I’m young (I’m […]

Bondage Free of Restraint

 Posted by on September 29, 2011
Sep 292011

By Jay Morgan One of the many reasons I like to play golf is that it is entirely up to me, and only me, to play well. No matter whether you are a professional, amateur, or weekend hacker, every golf course gives each player the same chances to score well. Similar to bowling, billards, or […]

Schrodinger’s Heart

 Posted by on September 21, 2011
Sep 212011

By Graydancer “It’s hard to wait for something you know might never happen, but it’s hard to give up when it’s everything you want.” – SexCigarsBooze, via Twitter Change is hard. It reflects an uncertainty to life that we don’t like. We like to feel like we know what’s going to happen, even when the […]